worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
