halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
