he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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