is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
