i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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