butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
