dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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