You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
