She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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