How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
