I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Randomize
