We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
