I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
