Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Pooping to opera.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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