My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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