no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
