the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
