You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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