i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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