i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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