So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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