Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Randomize
