Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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