If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
