somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
