Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
