ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
