A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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