So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
