ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
