after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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