you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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