Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
