angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
