They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
