dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
3pm strippers are depressing
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
