Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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