singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
