He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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