just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
