Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize