all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
