her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
