Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
