just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
