carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
