How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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