Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
