Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
