Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
